I ALWAYS COME BACK

So, for a few months I've been wondering what to say.

In the space of these past few months my ideals as a teenager have differed, my priorities have shifted drastically. I've learned things that will most likely stay with me for a lifetime, others not. I'm a teenager with a palette of colour-emotions, mustard-yellow happiness, cool-grey loneliness, scarlet-red love, midnight-blue sadness. That's the awkward thing about being a teenager, you feel everything, vivid and weird emotional moments that you can't even begin to explain or process. Some days you feel overwhelmed with feelings that are too hard to cope with, other days you feel like you're just another human drifting along with time and space.

I'm trying to change this blog ~ and make it a reflection of me. My previous posts never really let anyone in, I put up a wall between myself and you. For reasons like, not knowing how to express myself, not wanting to ramble about myself/life etc, and being a introverted and shy person in general. Because sometimes it's hard finding a voice whether it's online, or in real life situations (scary, I know). 

Growing up and finding that voice is definitely a challenge. Here are a few things I have come to discover by myself, that I wish someone had told me:

1. BE YOURSELF

I know it sounds simple and cliché, and I might sound 100% lame when I say this, but be yourself! Honestly there is nothing refreshing than feeling comfortable with you are. It's all good and well to put on a bravado, because truthfully, some of us guys and gals need to appear a little more confident in certain situations. But you shouldn't feel you have to change or appear different for other peoples benefit. After high school the realisations would have started to set in, going into the 'real world' there are no cliques or groups, you're out there on your own. You will undoubtedly have more important things to worry about in life than fitting in, because that's not what it's about, even if it feels like it right now.

I know it's hard trying to fit in with different cliques and groups at high school, and it's the absolute WORST when you don't feel like you fit in. But you know what, there are over 7 billion people on this planet, and none of them are you! Well that's radical!? You're worth more than you know.

2. YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER/FRIEND SHOULD NOT MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH/SHITTY
The point of relationships and friendships are to make the other person feel happy and good about themselves. If you have put effort into the relationship on a daily basis, and the person doesn't make you happy or worthy of them, DITCH EM'. Because quite frankly, you don't need/deserve to deal with that b.s. You have the power to cut of a toxic relationship or friendship, you don't have to stay if the person is putting down or making you feel shit. Especially is the person is inflicting any pain on you at all. Because you have the right to be happy, and the people you surround yourself with should be the ones that lift you up, not bring you down.

3. LOSS IS INEVITABLE 

It's always going to happen - just like your shoes are going to wear thin, and the rain is going to fall. When you're a teenager you feel every emotion under the sun, sometimes losing someone can feel like the whole world is coming to a slow and bitter end. It's a scary thing realising that those memories you've shared with someone special have started to become those - just memories. Just know that feeling this way, it's okay, we all have different strategies for dealing with loss. Some of us don't want to curl up in a ball with a carton of ice cream, but not everyone is ready to throw themselves on the rebound train instantly. Just remember that you don't have to be ready to get on with it immediately, pain is pain, and relationships and friendships are about finding what you need/deserve. Sometimes you need to experience the tail-end of relationships to see the faults and learn from them. This does NOT mean that any relationship was a waste of time, if you were treated badly - at least you now know that you don't deserve that kind of crap. 

4. INSECURITY IS A PRISON AND YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT

Some of the the most talented and beautiful people I have met, and whom I'd considered flawless aesthetically and intellectually have also turned out to be the same people who have all gone through patches of insecurity. Looking at them though my eyes, I could not see how this was even possible. Calling yourself names, and putting yourself down can really affect your confidence. Filling your head up with these thoughts can do you nothing but harm, give yourself a break, no one is perfect.

Envision telling your eight-year-old self, innocent and thrilled about life, that they are ugly, fat, and worth nothing. How could you possibly say this to a eight-year-old, and watch them cry inconsolably. It's the same thing, except you are older and putting yourself down more. Insecurity is a prison, but you choose whether you want to commit the crime.

5. GET RID OF MEAN AND NEGATIVE PEOPLE

If there's anything I've learned it's that attracting negative people can become a vicious and repetitive cycle. When you're giving and loving person, people can take advantage of that aspect of you, and cling onto your light, dragging you down into the darkness with them. When people feel hurt or sad they can try to transfer their pain onto others, and tend to rely on everyone else for happiness. But you shouldn't have to find happiness in others, happiness should be found in you. Choosing to be patient and nice is one thing, but putting yourself in a repetitive and miserable cycle is another. The best thing you can do is surround yourself with confident and motivated people, who know where they are going. Sometimes the most beneficial solution for yourself is to simply cut a person who makes you feel shit out of your life. It's your right to do this - it doesn't mean you lack loving them any less, you just shouldn't have to feel destroyed in the process of the friendship.

6. VALUE TIME

Value everyone else's time, value your own time, and you should not be made to feel like you are not worthy of someone else's. Everyone is trying to get somewhere or do something better, but we're usually too consumed in our own lives that we don't stop to help others out. But you know what? We're only on this earth for a little while, so why not try and make someone else's life a little bit better? Things take time, that's one thing I've learned, especially friendships and relationships. If the other person isn't making time for you, how do they expect the relationship to flourish, and how do they expect you to be happy? People should value your time. That means if they're late, they don't give a shit about your time and they think they're worth more and therefore can keep you waiting. Some people will say it's OK to be late. It's not. Some people will say it's just the way they are. Then maybe you need to reevaluate them.

There are a few things I wish someone had told me.

S x