Friday 27 November 2015

JUST THOUGHTS

It's 10:36 on a Thursday night, and I'm feeling like I need to make an effort to write something, and it's rare that I actually feel like posting, so this is a good opportunity to talk shit for a while. As I slightly touched on in my last post, things have been a bit weird lately, and I'm not usually one to write about my feelings. But as I also said in that post, I'm trying to be more open with you, so this is basically the run down if everything going on in my head right now:

I'm scared about getting older, not old old, but old enough to have the kinds of responsibilities you never thought you'd have to have. I'm at college now, I work so I can buy the meaningless things that I want (clothes, jewellery, etc). I have a roof over my head free of cost, and I have food on my plate every night. But what happens after that? Bills? Taxes? All the stuff that adults are probably used to, that's the shit that freaks me out the most. They're the kinds of thoughts that wake me up in the middle of the night in a sweat, the feeling comes on as sudden as putting my head under a cold tap.

Getting older is a weird thing. I thought that once I reached certain milestones I'd feel older, or like I'd reached a rite-of-passage. But the days and nights just float by, I don't feel much different to how I felt maybe a year ago. I mean, sure a lot has changed but everything just seems to happen at a painfully slow pace. I mean, half of the time I feel like the embodiment of a Coppola film, an emotional, angst filled teenager.

I don't know how many of you still read this blog, but if you're still here - thank you. Not too many people read blogs these days. I get it though, instagram, snapchat, facebook they're all more digestible sources to find content. Reading a blog takes time and effort. I'm not ready to let mine go just yet, it's the longest relationship I've had with anything, almost a year. I'm a teenager with little to no commitment to anyone or anything, so this little URL that I nurture - it really means a lot to me.

'til next time, over and out

s x

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